Eh, Stop Taking Your Dogs To Baby Beach!

18.06.EH BRAH_web

To the multitudes of people who take their dogs to Baby Beach, and then let them run off the leash.... ugh! How come you think it’s appropriate to let your dogs run up to strangers to sniff, shake, lick, jump on, leap near, dig around or in many other ways invade a person’s private space and wreck the beach? I saw an irresponsible elder couple walking ahead of their unleashed little dogs this morning. Their dogs were shitting all over the sand, … [Read more...]

Eh, It’s MauiTime’s Annual Eh Brah Binge Issue!

0_Cover_18.04.indd

We call this the Aloha State, but that doesn’t mean everyone’s nice to each other. Most people out here give friends, relatives and strangers a decent break, but we all know some lying, cheating, thieving parasite out there who just seems to enjoy causing misery in others. And while dealing with such a person is never fun, calling them out in Eh Brah! is great fun. So here are a bunch of Eh Brahs for you to binge on–all brand new, never before … [Read more...]

Eh Screaming Lady!

18.03.EH BRAH_web

Eh screaming lady in the Lahaina Banyan Tree park!  Every single night for the last several weeks we’ve listened to you hollering at the top of your lungs, vomiting epithets that would embarrass a sailor, all with your little dog barking along side you. It’s understandable if you get upset occasionally and need to vent. But the Banyan Tree Park, where there are keiki and adult locals and tourists who would like a peaceful and relaxing time, is … [Read more...]

Eh Thoughtless Hippies!

18.01.EH BRAH

To the hippies I had the displeasure of sitting next to on the plane: First, what do you find so wrong with showering? You smelled like rotting mold and I had to endure it for nearly six hours. Second, I'm all about free speech but did you have to drop the F bomb and talk about drug use so loudly and excessively? There were keiki around and elders. But to put the icing on the cake, before we had even left the Mainland you asked, “Do you know … [Read more...]

Thanks Superette People!

17.52.EH BRAH

Eh guy who was in line in front of me at the Pukalani Superette: my newborn was crying and I had to take her out of her seat. You offered to empty my cart for me. Mahalo! And to the employee who saw me struggling in the parking lot and offered to take my cart for me–mahalo to you as well! That's Ohana Aloha! Illustration by Ron Pitts … [Read more...]

Eh Homophobic Restaurant Customer!

17.51.EH BRAH_WEB

Eh, Brah! I could tell by your booming voice, blond buzz-cut and tucked-in polo shirt that you have an inflated sense of importance, but did you really have to advertise your disgusting homophobia at the same time? Your speech about finding out some guy was gay and how he was sprinkling his “f@$%ing fairy dust” all over the place was way over the line. You were in a restaurant, and other people were trying to enjoy their breakfasts and morning … [Read more...]

Eh Thousand Peaks Drone Operator!

17.50.EH BRAH_WEB

I was out surfing at Ukumehame (Thousand Peaks), enjoying a quiet and peaceful morning riding waves. That is, until I heard an annoying buzzing coming from your low flying helicopter drone filming us surfers. It was downright creepy. Whether it was for commercial gain, or just to get some shots of your friends, it felt like an act of voyeurism. Cameras mounted on surf and stand up paddle boards are no problem, but your drone created a nuisance. … [Read more...]

Eh Guy Who Threw Away Perfectly Good Snorkel Gear!

17.49.EH BRAH

We get it that you don't care. You’re the person who throws away two snorkel sets (tags still on the bag) into the trash can in the men’s room at a Ka'anapali resort. This is wrong on so many levels. Those sets are made of plastic that will sit in a land fill for hundreds of years. There are also plenty of people everywhere who would love to use that perfectly good snorkel set to see all the beauty in the ocean. You could post it on Craigslist, … [Read more...]

Eh Used Car Salesman!

17.48.EH BRAH

Not only did your dealership sell me a lemon used car, but you made me go through hell and back to get you to do something about it. In a two-month period, I came back to you 12 times as my lemon fell apart, but each time you denied it was your problem. Finally at the end you offered me a crummy deal to take it or leave it–a new car, over my budget, with the gas mileage I asked for. You called it a new car, but I later found out it was a dealer’s … [Read more...]

Eh Angry Driver!

17.47.EH BRAH

I was traveling west on Wakea Street and was turning left onto Hukiliki Street, trying to a beat a truck traveling east on Wakea. You–one angry tita–also clearly wanted to beat the truck. But I had the right of way, not you. Instead of waiting your turn, you moved out into the intersection and nearly hit me. Of course, you were cursing me the entire time. Be glad I was in a good mood that day, so I just smiled and waved at you. What an ass you … [Read more...]