Eh, Produce Thief!

18.18.EH BRAH_web

Next time you decide it’s okay to clean out my side yard of all the pineapple, papaya and pomegranate, try ask before you take. My family grows the food to feed our family and foster family and pets. Better yet, come offer to weed once a month in exchange for some food. It’s a lot easier to pick things during the daylight hours than it is at night, even with the newly installed mercury vapor security light that the county recently installed to … [Read more...]

Eh Puppy Killer!


Eh brah! You sealed NINE three-week-old puppies in a trash bag and dumped them somewhere in a field in Kula to die. Do you know what’s worse than failing to fix your dog and then dropping nine puppies off at the Maui Humane Society? Letting them suffocate and starve to death in a bag. If you were anywhere near decent, you would get your dogs fixed, to say nothing of never resorting to such a heinous act. If it were up to me, I would never let you … [Read more...]

Eh Shameless Dad!


To the guy who shows up regularly at McDonald's with his young children in tow: How dare you use your children as props to beg for money. One child is in even in a stroller. It’s really hard to believe that you need the money when I see you light up a smoke while waiting and watching for customers to walk by. Everyone knows that there are agencies on Maui that will help with the children’s needs. I’m sure you haven’t thought about what you're … [Read more...]

Eh Crazy Hit And Run Driver!

18.15.EH BRAH_web

You sideswiped my truck in my own driveway when the family was in town for doctor appointments and you didn’t even leave a note. You drive a white vehicle and your front left fender must be damaged. You were either a friend coming to visit, a Jehovah’s Witness or a thief because our driveway is long and not right on the street. If you have insurance, it would have paid for the damage since it was just a parking lot fender bender. Instead, I’m … [Read more...]

Eh Crazy Caller!


Eh Brah! You called my business the other day to place an order. No idea what I was thinking when I tried to engage you in friendly conversations (without even knowing you in person). you told me the story of your life on Maui and how you met people apparently you and I know in common. Then you told me to use the artwork supplied from your graphic designer, who you didn’t have any clue how it was going to look at a larger scale. I tried not to … [Read more...]

Eh Rotten Driver!

18.13.EH BRAH

Eh person in the maroon pickup with a half bondo grey tailgate: obviously, Driver's Ed was not mandatory when you got a license (assuming you actually have one). Next time you’re tailgating, honking, speeding and passing (in a "no passing" stretch of road) a "Driver Training" vehicle, I hope there’s an officer to stop and teach you the rules of driving. Common courtesy is in The Golden Rule book and guess you missed that lesson, … [Read more...]

Eh Thoughtless Parents!

18.12.EH BRAH

Eh brah and sista, too: What are you thinking leaving your three to five-year-old keiki alone at the beach while you go catch a wave, go to the bathroom, get a coffee or whatever you did? Your child is way too young to take care of themselves. If you’re depending on me or other parents to watch your child, then just ask! I’m not a free baby sitting service but I am a parent and understand the need for a break. If you take the time to talk to me, … [Read more...]

Eh Recycling Thief!


Eh, you in the white truck that I saw stealing recycling on Ainakea Road at 3am. Stop terrorizing our neighborhood! I'm pretty sure that it was you who stole two of my recycling bins two weeks ago and my last and only one a few days ago. And just the other night, my 70-year-old neighbor saw you stealing recycling bins. Are you so cracked out that you have to steal people's recycling bins? There's plenty free ones all over town. How about making … [Read more...]

Eh Loud Music Lover!


Eh! I was sitting down at Pohaku Park when you pulled up. There was beyond-loud rap music screaming from your car’s speakers. A few braddahs and I were enjoying the sunset and talking among ourselves when you shouted, "Go back to da mainland, haole.” I noticed one of the stickers on your car had a Filipino last name on it and assumed it was your name. I do believe you are of Filipino descent. I may be white but I was born and raised here. No … [Read more...]

Eh Hookipa Peeping Tom!


Eh, you with the telephoto lens pointed at all the pretty little 14-year old girls in the tide pools at Ho’okipa: Shame on you, you filthy old lecher! Those are our daughters and sisters! We see you from the break, and it's just a matter of time before one of us catches you. Oh yeah, we’ve already reported you, but I promise you that you’d rather have to go around and tell all your neighbors that you’re a sick old pervert than get caught by one … [Read more...]