Eh Crazy Caller!

18.14.EH BRAH_WEB

Eh Brah! You called my business the other day to place an order. No idea what I was thinking when I tried to engage you in friendly conversations (without even knowing you in person). you told me the story of your life on Maui and how you met people apparently you and I know in common. Then you told me to use the artwork supplied from your graphic designer, who you didn’t have any clue how it was going to look at a larger scale. I tried not to … [Read more...]

Eh Rotten Driver!

18.13.EH BRAH

Eh person in the maroon pickup with a half bondo grey tailgate: obviously, Driver's Ed was not mandatory when you got a license (assuming you actually have one). Next time you’re tailgating, honking, speeding and passing (in a "no passing" stretch of road) a "Driver Training" vehicle, I hope there’s an officer to stop and teach you the rules of driving. Common courtesy is in The Golden Rule book and guess you missed that lesson, … [Read more...]

Eh Thoughtless Parents!

18.12.EH BRAH

Eh brah and sista, too: What are you thinking leaving your three to five-year-old keiki alone at the beach while you go catch a wave, go to the bathroom, get a coffee or whatever you did? Your child is way too young to take care of themselves. If you’re depending on me or other parents to watch your child, then just ask! I’m not a free baby sitting service but I am a parent and understand the need for a break. If you take the time to talk to me, … [Read more...]

Eh Recycling Thief!

18.11.EH BRAH_WEB

Eh, you in the white truck that I saw stealing recycling on Ainakea Road at 3am. Stop terrorizing our neighborhood! I'm pretty sure that it was you who stole two of my recycling bins two weeks ago and my last and only one a few days ago. And just the other night, my 70-year-old neighbor saw you stealing recycling bins. Are you so cracked out that you have to steal people's recycling bins? There's plenty free ones all over town. How about making … [Read more...]

Eh Loud Music Lover!

18.10.EH BRAH_WEB

Eh! I was sitting down at Pohaku Park when you pulled up. There was beyond-loud rap music screaming from your car’s speakers. A few braddahs and I were enjoying the sunset and talking among ourselves when you shouted, "Go back to da mainland, haole.” I noticed one of the stickers on your car had a Filipino last name on it and assumed it was your name. I do believe you are of Filipino descent. I may be white but I was born and raised here. No … [Read more...]

Eh Hookipa Peeping Tom!

18.09.EH BRAH_WEB

Eh, you with the telephoto lens pointed at all the pretty little 14-year old girls in the tide pools at Ho’okipa: Shame on you, you filthy old lecher! Those are our daughters and sisters! We see you from the break, and it's just a matter of time before one of us catches you. Oh yeah, we’ve already reported you, but I promise you that you’d rather have to go around and tell all your neighbors that you’re a sick old pervert than get caught by one … [Read more...]

Eh Rotten Dog Owner!

18.08.EH BRAH

To my neighbor who leaves his sad and bored looking dog tied up on a short chain in his front yard all the time. Why did you get a dog in the first place? A dog is not a lawn ornament or a home security system. They are loving social animals that deserve to be part of your home and your life. Dogs that are chained run a much higher risk of biting and are more likely to be the dogs that run off and don't come back when called. Chaining dogs … [Read more...]

Eh Coffee Shop!

18.07.EH BRAH

Eh coffee shop–ever heard of Karma? The way you treat your employees and customers is bound to come back to you. One step in that shop is liable to give you some unknown disease! Mahalo for showing Maui your true colors. Illustration by Ron Pitts … [Read more...]

Eh, Stop Taking Your Dogs To Baby Beach!

18.06.EH BRAH_web

To the multitudes of people who take their dogs to Baby Beach, and then let them run off the leash.... ugh! How come you think it’s appropriate to let your dogs run up to strangers to sniff, shake, lick, jump on, leap near, dig around or in many other ways invade a person’s private space and wreck the beach? I saw an irresponsible elder couple walking ahead of their unleashed little dogs this morning. Their dogs were shitting all over the sand, … [Read more...]

Eh, It’s MauiTime’s Annual Eh Brah Binge Issue!

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We call this the Aloha State, but that doesn’t mean everyone’s nice to each other. Most people out here give friends, relatives and strangers a decent break, but we all know some lying, cheating, thieving parasite out there who just seems to enjoy causing misery in others. And while dealing with such a person is never fun, calling them out in Eh Brah! is great fun. So here are a bunch of Eh Brahs for you to binge on–all brand new, never before … [Read more...]