Eh brah and aunties: Wow! I knew times were hard, but not that hard. First off, brah–you like to come on my property while my family and I are at church and steal our portable generator. That’s very bad. Second, you two elderly aunties like to walk up my driveway and take whichever plants you might like to have for yourself. Too bad I was home the other day–did you mind me coming out of the backyard right as you were bending down to steal something? Frankly, I’ve never seen two old people run so fast! As wise King Solomon once said, “Rob not from the poor, because they are poor.”

Illustration by Ron Pitts

Tags: Aunties, Church, Maui, portable generator, thieves, Westside

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