You were the jerk who smashed in the window of the rental car in ‘Iao. Were ya havin’ a bad day? Needed to bust something up? Because there was clearly nothing – N-O-T-H-I-N-G – in there to steal. Oh, except a bag of arare, which you left behind (guess you weren’t hungry). Maybe you wanted to get into the trunk. But you didn’t even pop it open. Real smart guy. Doesn’t matter, because there was nothing in there, either. Yeah, it was a “tourist” car. A “tourist” on his first visit to Maui. A Filipino-American. Also, a West Point member of the military who serves to give you the right to be a J-E-R-K.
Illustration by Ron Pitts