Eh surf board thief: what’s up? You stole my 8’11” lime green Jimmy Lewis standup paddle board off my truck in the middle of the afternoon. You’re an idiot–it was like stealing a green Corvette. I’m gonna find you. Though it would’ve made my job easier if the mall where I was parked had security cameras mounted in the parking lot. Seriously, technology like that isn’t that expensive.
Illustration by Ron Pitts