Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
The thing about “experts” is that once they achieve that status many of them rarely, if ever, question themselves. Thus their expertise can quickly fall out of date. Don’t fall into this trap, especially if your in-depth knowledge is about another person. People change fast and without notice sometimes; what you thought you knew may no longer be accurate. Failing to notice such transformations (or note their import) not only makes you look bad, it makes them feel bad. Remember how you acquired this state of in-depth expertise: by being observant, present, open-minded, and attentive. Maintain those qualities and you can’t really go wrong.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
“Love the one you’re with,” is generally good advice, but there are limits to how far you can take it. Obviously, holding out for the perfect guy or gal is simply not a good idea; whoever you end up with is going to have stuff you just put up with instead of adoring. A short list is acceptable. If that list is so long you couldn’t memorize it if you had a week, there might be something wrong. Trying to find someone who’s at least a little more compatible may simply be your best bet.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Many gifts do seem to come with strings attached, but that’s not necessarily a reason to reject them out of hand. Assess where such generosity is coming from—or, more accurately, who it’s coming from. Is the person reasonably up-front and honest about their intentions? If they make the “strings” especially visible, that’s all the more reason to trust them, because then you can honestly gauge whether or not those obligations are something you can live with. The answer’s probably yes. It’s the too-good-to-be-true gifts from sneaky people that you really have to watch out for.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
While it may be tempting to rip someone a new one when they’ve screwed up—something you’re easily capable of—practicing compassion and understanding is probably your best (if less satisfying) long-term plan. By all means, they should know, without a doubt, exactly what mistake they made and how to keep from making it again. However, if you can, you should share such information gently instead of skinning and roasting them alive. Being harsher than you have to be—no matter how justified it seems or satisfying it is—will surely come back to bite you in the ass. Don’t do it.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Here’s the thing about lies: they fester. The longer they’re allowed to continue and maintain their illusions, the worse the fallout once they finally explode and the truth comes out. That’s why even white lies must be punctured as quickly as possible if they persist for more than a very short time, lest they fester and grow malign. This is a good week for lancing such unsightly boils. Come clean. Most people (even if they flip out a little at first, which they might) will come around and understand why you fibbed in the first place—and appreciate that you decided to be honest.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
You Crabs are notorious penny pinchers. Whether this comes from anxiety about the future, actually impoverished conditions in the present, or straight-up stinginess doesn’t really matter to those it affects. It’s a drag. “It doesn’t affect anyone but me!” you may protest. Not true. It’s shitty for the server in the restaurant whom you gave a bare minimum 15% tip, to the penny, and for your embarrassed companions in such a scenario, or for anyone who has to stand by and be at all complicit to your miserliness, or worse, suffer from it directly. How do you unlearn such unpleasant and unnecessary habits? I’m not sure, but this week should present a clue (and an opportunity) or two.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
If you walked around wearing a straitjacket, or had a stinky pooping monkey clinging to your back, it’d be obvious what was keeping you from fully living your life and realizing your true potential, especially in your relationships with other people. Just because the thing holding you back is much less visible doesn’t mean it’s not just as effective. It also doesn’t stay invisible for long once people get close to you. It needs to be eradicated. This is easier said than done, but it’s not going to get simpler by putting it off. This week, at least seriously look into a long-term solution.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
I scolded Cancers for their parsimoniousness this week, but I’ll applaud you Virgos for your frugality. There’s a distinct difference between the two states. Being stingy means just being reluctant to part with your money under any circumstances; being thrifty, as you are, is simply practicing wisdom and foresight in your expenditures. Sometimes, ironically, that means spending more—if by doing so you buy something that’s higher quality and will outlast multiple replacements of the cheaper version. Your thriftiness is probably your most useful quality this week, provided you practice the deepest version of it (which, as I mentioned, may mean you spend more than you’d planned).
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Sometimes we have such a deep, irrational resistance to something that it feels virtually impossible to overcome. Even though you know you’ll feel good once you bite the bullet and just do it, it’s still hard to get off your ass and make yourself go there. That’s when you need help. Call in the big guns this week—namely, someone who will simply not let you off the hook, no matter what, and will make your life hell, if necessary, until you do what you need to do. This job can’t be fulfilled by just anyone, of course. It requires someone with some backbone and perhaps even a well-meaning sadistic streak. I think you already have someone in mind, don’t you? Call them.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
I cynically think of the lottery as the idiot tax. However, I do very occasionally purchase a ticket. Regularly buying them does seem like a truly stupid waste of money. But shelling out a buck every month or three isn’t a big deal any way you slice it. I like to think of it as giving the universe a chance to make me wealthy. Periodically creating a small window of opportunity for even extremely unlikely events (no matter what these are; for some people “falling in love” might qualify) is a tremendously good practice. You never know what might climb through. Please do so this week.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Delegate, delegate, delegate. While you’re perfectly capable of handling everything on your plate, there’s no especially good reason why you should tackle it alone, while there are multiple excellent ones to justify sharing out the workload. It might get done better, or faster, or both. It might make someone feel good about themselves. It might give you time to take on other stuff that you’d really enjoy. It might help you bond with someone. Not convinced yet? Humor me and do it anyway. You’ll be convinced in a week or two, even if you aren’t now.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Do the work. This is not something you usually have a problem with; out of the entire zodiac, only Virgos can match you for consistent long-term work ethic. However, when you conceive of a resistance to something, man, does that run deep! You’re arguably the most stubborn sign out there, and when you don’t want to do something, even when you rationally know you have to, it’s impossible for anyone else to make you do it. Only you have the power to overcome that internal defiance. This week, that’s your challenge. Obviously, sheer logic and determination haven’t been enough to surmount the wall you’ve erected, so it’s time to try new, more creative tactics… like bribery, perhaps?