Eh, It’s MauiTime’s Annual Eh Brah Binge Issue!

0_Cover_18.04.indd

We call this the Aloha State, but that doesn’t mean everyone’s nice to each other. Most people out here give friends, relatives and strangers a decent break, but we all know some lying, cheating, thieving parasite out there who just seems to enjoy causing misery in others. And while dealing with such a person is never fun, calling them out in Eh Brah! is great fun. So here are a bunch of Eh Brahs for you to binge on–all brand new, never before … [Read more...]

Eh Liquor Store Owner!

16.22.EH-BRAH

Eh liquor store owner: I was trying to help you out the other night. My mistake trying to tell you that your employee was way too drunk to be at work. Don’t you think overcharging customers and acting extremely rude to them is a bad idea? Guess not, because you 86ed me from your store. But I get it–you need your employees to surf and cruise with you on their days off, so you can’t really fire them. I wonder how much inventory they slam down the … [Read more...]

MauiTime Readers Sound Off On Best Of Maui, Eh Brah And Young Skaters Who Rip Old Skaters

266-BOM-2012-Big-Beach--Swimming-Beach-Sean-M.-Hower(c)-

BLAME THE VOTERS! I am appalled that your newspaper would list Big Beach as the Best Swimming Beach on Maui (Best of Maui, July 19, 2012). Are you truly unaware of the number of people that have been paralyzed at Big Beach? We have had so many patients young, old, tourists and residents that will never walk again after being tossed by a wave at Big Beach. Your article lists only the beauty and none of the dangers. How many tourists will go to … [Read more...]

Annual MauiTime Eh Brah Issue: Damn, Our Readers Hate Traffic!

MTW0712A01_contents_page

More than half of drivers in Hawaii believe that people on the road are not as courteous as they were just five years ago, reports a new survey commissioned by First Insurance Company. What’s more, reported the Associated Press on June 26, a mere 18 percent of drivers still use the venerable shaka to acknowledge another driver’s courtesy. These stats were probably surprising to most residents, but not to the MauiTime staff. We read your Eh … [Read more...]

Eh Brah! Stop Hogging The Kula Tennis Courts!

16.01.EH-BRAH

Players at the Kula Tennis Courts: we have just as much right to play on courts as you do. You don’t own them, they are public courts. So please stop harassing us when we are there or asking others when we started playing. We’ll leave the courts when we’re done, just like you! You want a court? How about arriving earlier or later? And while we are at it, don’t blast your music on the courts–that’s rude to the other players. If you must have your … [Read more...]

Sideswiped in Kahului!

15.52.EH-BRAH

This is for the ass who sideswiped me as I was riding my bike one recent morning on Dairy Road in Kahului. You were leaving the parking lot next to McDonald’s with your phone in your hand (and clearly didn’t even look for people on bikes, like me) as you made your turn onto the road. You knocked me off my bike and then just kept going. I’m fortunate that the bruddah driving a van down the road was able to stop in time instead of running me over. … [Read more...]

Eh Brah! Locker Room Pigs!

15.46.EH-BRAH

Why is it that every time you guys come into the gym to use the sauna and locker room it’s always a pig sty after you leave? It’s OK if you live this way at home, but we don’t want or need to see the garbage you leave lying on the floor even though there is a garbage can placed every five feet. Still, you take plastic bottles and paper towels into the sauna (where they never should be) and leave them. You think we want to touch the paper towel … [Read more...]

Stop the Restaurant Slander!

15.42.EH-BRAH

OK, we get it. You’re angry. After numerous warnings and suspensions, you finally managed to get yourself fired from the restaurant. Now someone has to pay. The truth is, your former employer dealt with the health violation, and now that’s old news. So please stop with the Facebook slander, the misleading emails to newspapers and the anonymous calls to the Health Department. This behavior is only hurting your former friends and co-workers, not … [Read more...]

Stop Yelling At Your Beautiful Girlfriend!

15.36.EH-BRAH

Eh Brah! You look really cool yelling at your beautiful girlfriend in public. It really makes you look like you’re in control of your pathetic, plaid wearing, illiterate, comb-less life of yours. It’s no surprise that you’re too busy “crying over spilled milk” to notice that the incoming phone call from “MOM” is coincidentally the same phone number as your girl’s future boyfriend. I’m sorry to interrupt your very important rampage, but it looks … [Read more...]

Eh Brah!

15.26.EHBRAH

Hey you, middle-aged frumpy gal: You sit on your lanai and chain-smoke all day which means all of your neighbors have to smell your nasty cigarette smoke. We also love watching you fling your lung cookies off the balcony throughout the day. And we can hardly wait for you to go to sleep so we can lie in our beds listening to your cough and hack all night. Please go inside with your trash habits! Illustration by Ron Pitts … [Read more...]